āThis is a case in which I need more than words to find the meaning. This is a case in which I need whatever it is I think or believe to be penetrable, if only for myself.ā
ā(Joan Didion,Ā The Year of Magical Thinking, 2005)
A 'Visitation' from Mum
KAT HEALY
She arrives at the oddest of times
like when I chop neeps
for tea with sweet potatoes
she hovers at the window
a reflection on the cooker
the pinch of her grin
all teeth and cheekbones
scares the hell out of me at first
I wrestle veg into a tin
cook for an hour
she taught me that I think?
Iād love to ask her but
she wonāt stay long
in the kitchen
I clatter plates together
I think itās the fan scares her away
it rumbles with steam
she shivers
a wisp of fragrance
could be the roasties
either way, it evaporates
the steam then Mum.
ā (from 'Ripening', 2023)
Visitations
Iād wake to guttural soundsārestless echoes (coming from me). Iād scratch at static noiseāāFade to black, please, fade to blackā.
I was certain, āShe was here, I saw her, we were in the kitchenāshe was just hereā, convincing no one because no one was there.
Just me in a liminal space.
Now, I handle them better, the visitations.
She doesnāt age. Sheās reflected lightāa shadow to trace in my mind's eye.
Dream Angus
āDream Angusā, a traditional Scottish folk song performed by / Thilo Pfander Ā©2023
The full song will be available on Substack tomorrow, 19th September 2023.
Ripening š
This month, Iām releasing a series of short extracts and reflections from my first poetry pamphlet, āRipeningā, due in 2024. The pamphlet will be accompanied by original artwork and songs.
As an indie artist, Iām self-publishing my pamphlet. If you havenāt already, please consider subscribing to support my work.
Thank you! Kat x
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